When using Lilith in synastry, it is best to start simple. I really wouldn’t use more than one to start with. The one to use would be the Black Moon Lilith, the lunar apogee. If you have any doubts about the accuracy of the birthtimes I would play safe and use Mean Lilith. Harmonious Lilith aspects between each partner brings magic into each other’s life, adding hot spicy sauce where one already has good sexual connections. Long term however Lilith aspects cannot really replace the classic Mars/Venus synastry aspects.
Black Moon Lilith will show how tantric your sexual relations could be and add to the all-important sexual chemistry. Hard aspects to the personal planets may show an irresistible, obsessive attraction, the sort that hypnotizes you into abandoning your more regular moon, domestic commitments. Lilith is what makes you leave a 30 year marriage on a whim. She can break the spell of entrenched habitual behavior, but at worst she really is in modern terms what you would call a “Bunny Boiler”, a classic home-wrecker.
To show how Lilith works in synastry I thought it would be best to pick the most Lilithy couple I could find. I’m picking Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton because they are a classic example of the age-old archetype of star crossed lovers. There was certainly a strong sexual charge between them, and they famously divorced and remarried twice. Liz Taylor was more than a match for Richard Burton. Their fights were legendary, for many years they were Hollywood’s Golden couple and are a great example of charismatic, magnetic Lilith energy.
Elizabeth has a huge Black Moon Corridor, containing the North Node, Eris, Part of Fortune, and a very tight Venus/Uranus conjunction (05′). I’m not surprised to see discordant Eris in there. So all these will get the Lilith flavour and Venus conjunct Uranus certainly describes her sparkling sexuality.
Her Sun conjunct Mercury gets a square from the demonic and mysterious Waldemath Dark Moon which in turn squares Neptune. This dynamic, driven, but also difficult T square aspect completely describes her love affair with the demon liquor and also her glamorous career. The apex has Dark Moon conjunct her DC, what she attracts in a partner. Perfectly brooding Burton. Feminist Asteroid Lilith opposes Black Moon Lilith, attempting to reconcile rebellion and equality with sexual magnetism. Elizabeth Taylor Horoscope.
Richard’s birth data is DD, so I won’t pay attention to his angles. His Mean Lilith is tightly trine Mercury, he was famous for his mesmerizing voice. He certainly had a seductive vocal delivery as an actor. Like Liz he also has a Lilith in aspect to alcoholic Neptune. His Asteroid Lilith opposes it. So he is the rebellious drinker, the renegade.
His Dark Moon is semi-sextile Eris, the outcast vibe here with a demonic flavour. He said he drank because he always felt like the “poor boy from Wales” amongst the Hollywood elite. He never felt he really fitted into their clique. Dark Moon is the exiled Lilith and Eris in myth was the angry goddess that wasn’t invited to the wedding. The Dark Moon is hurt and vengefull, like the malevolent fairy in sleeping beauty.
Lilith Inter-Aspects in Synastry
Not surprising to see the forbidden fruit of Neptune poison in a double whammy here. Neptune is film, glamour too and the alcoholism. Neptune trine Lilith gives that soul mate, star-crossed lovers touch, but the quincunx creates yearning, fantasy and the danger of delusion. Lilith with Neptune can work on two levels, sexual enlightenment or the very worst toxic relationship. The most beautiful euphoric fantasy can dissolve into treachery and betrayal.
Lilith in aspect to Ceres
Ceres has her dark side and can get melancholy at the pain of separation. She can also be about indulgence, Richard was famous for buying Liz some very extravagant jewellery. They were both quite vulgar in their display of their wealth. Ceres can be bi-polar and describes the swinging from winter to summer in their relationship. Trines can be indulgent and lazy. This aspects suggests binge drinking and then detoxing.
Lilith in aspect to Chiron
There was plenty of verbal wounding between the both of them. If Chiron is Jesus and Lilith is Mary Magdalene, then this is equality between divine beings. Their epic fights were a passionate battle of the sexes and I’m sure their relationship provided them plenty of opportunity for soul growth. Liz was at home being the diva, but when her spoilt-princess act got too much, Richard would slap her back to reality. Richard was used to women falling at his feet so meeting his equal meant his usual unquestioned male supremacy was put to the test.
Dark Moon in aspect to Mars
And this is where it was put to the test. Richards Dark Moon was the poor insecure Welsh boy that didn’t fit in and also his drinking demon. Liz’s strong, fighting planet is aspecting it. Conjunctions are hard aspect and in their regular synastry they have a very challenging Mars opposition Saturn to go with this.
Lilith in aspect to Asteroid Lilith
Asteroid Lilith features strongly between these too and this is a double whammy. The combination of the magical, sexual, glamour and the fighting, rebellious energy they generated between them very much conjures up the revolutionary Uranian Asteroid Lilith here. They were famous in the 60’s, reflecting the tensions in the wider world in the sexual revolution amplified by the Uranus Pluto conjunction.
Lilith in the Composite Chart
So how do all the Liliths work within the bigger picture of the composite chart? I picked the Burton composite midpoint chart rather than the Davison, because here all 3 Liliths are very active. Starting with the basics. Are there any Liliths in aspect to the AC or luminaries? In this chart we have a Sun square Moon. Richards chart is DD, so we can’t look at the angles and the orb may be bigger or smaller than this very tight square, but I’m betting the time is pretty good because this one aspect pretty much sums up their relationship. The Moon is trined by Black Moon Lilith which makes them a classic example of a Lilith couple right from the start.
Black Moon trine a luminary is very strong, but it is also quincunx the Sun also, I wrote that this aspect ”seems to be about creating unique and unusual ways to exorcise ones demons. The quincunx shows the successful alchemical blending of seemingly incongruous elements. These self-divined people somehow get away with being respected and idolized combined with also being the taboo, exiled or demonic. Sometimes they start their life being the darlings of society, repressing their eccentricity and then shockingly flip over to their more authentic selves which then exiles them.” Well that certainly describes this couple very well I think. Amy Winehouse had this natally, so if their composite was a person it would be her, like Richard & Liz she certainly had addiction problems and an obsessive, tumultuous love life.
Not surprisingly for such a stellar couple, their composite chart has great geometry with many aspect patterns. The Yod accurately describes their feisty relationship to me because it is pointing at discordant Eris, (Outer planet Lilith) conjunct volatile Uranus. Minor grand trines are said to be gifts. We have Neptune’s glamour, and Mars’s sexuality, both pointing to voluptuous and fertile Ceres, all this manifesting their huge success as a Hollywood couple. This minor grand trine totally describes the magic that came out when they were on screen. At the same time this pattern was also the cause of their addiction problems. Mars/Neptune hard aspects are commonly found in alcoholics, this is a soft aspect but Mars is getting a square from Eris which I think turns the Mars quite bitter and raging. Eris is also quincunx what may have otherwise been a benign Neptune. Neptune in aspect to Ceres is also another addictive aspect since they are both about yearning to be apart of something greater. Ceres rules herbs/opiates and Neptune alcohol. Both these drugs dissolve boundaries.
If you look at the chart Eris is instrumental in pulling a Yod and a minor grand trine into what the Hubers call a “Model” aspect pattern. A model is the prototype made to enable us to understand the finished product at a larger scale. It is an example of the expression “As in the great, so in the small”. Richard and Liz were chosen to play out the issues of everyman’s toxic relationships for the collective. Richard and Liz have almost become a verb for describing the eternal battle of the sexes where a man and a woman meet their cosmic match and neither wants to bow down to the other.
Had they resolved their alcohol problems Neptune may have smoothed over their fiery synastry and taken it to a higher level. Mars sextile Ceres is entrancing, the raw sexuality of Mars refined by sensual Ceres. Ceres is also conjunct Jupiter also which describes their abundant, gaudy and sometimes quite vulgar display of wealth. Richard did shower Liz in outrageously expensive jewelry, the most famous being the Taylor-Burton 69 carat diamond.
Asteroid Lilith & the Dark Moon in Synastry
If we really want to fine tune we can go to the secondary Liliths. Contacts to Asteroid Lilith may show where there are power struggles between a couple, whether a man will accept equality in his partner or not. If there are hard aspects between them, this could mean anything from bickering about who wears the trousers to domestic violence. Harmonious aspects may show where the couple experiment, are eccentric or kinky. They may play out their equality battles in the bedroom with role playing games, for example. With Liz and Richard we have already seen they have Asteroid Lilith in a double whammy with Black Moon Lilith which only amps up their marital battles. In their composite chart we have Asteroid Lilith conjunct Saturn. Saturn the Patriarch. Well you can’t get anymore descriptive of the bullying problem than that. Rebellious Asteroid Lilith is always going to have a problem with heavy authority of Saturn bearing down on her like that.
Contacts to Dark Moon Lilith will show each one’s demons and buried rage. Positive connections may offer an avenue where these demons can be exorcized. They could do this through channeling the angst into creative projects together, raising the energy to a higher vibration. Ego must be set aside in order to do this, and it helps if the couple has some sort of spiritual practice to implement this. Otherwise, the worst case scenario would be this manifesting as vengeful behaviour, Sadomasochism, seething rage and sexual and psychological abuse. Another way for this to be cathartic in a sexual way could be to engage in some light S&M and bondage.
Their Dark Moon square Pluto is probably the hardest aspect for it to take. Pluto being the planet of manipulation and dark domination. Thankfully it’s not a really tight square, but with all the other stressful aspects this really doesn’t help smooth things over if you add alcohol into the equation then of course there is a strong possibility that this nasty square is going to slide into abuse. Liz’z Mars is conjunct Richards Dark Moon in their synastry which only aggravates his personal demons. Sexually though, this is off the scales.